I spent way too much time trying to decide if this new series should be written in first or third person. A lot of the cozy mysteries I’ve read are in first person. They stay in the main character’s point of view (POV) throughout the book.
In my other mystery books, I stay in third person for all the series. But the main character’s POV all the time in the Spotted Pony Casino books. Sometimes I add another POV character in my Gabriel Hawke books because the story needs that added POV. In my Shandra Higheagle Mysteries, I use Shandra and Ryan’s POV’s both.
This new series, I went back and forth between first person and third. So far the book has stayed in my main character’s POV. And I think I’ll keep it that way. It’s how most cozy mysteries are. But as I write, I find myself typing “I” and writing some sentences in first person. This makes me wonder if I need to go back to the beginning and start over, writing from the first-person POV.
Which do you feel is stronger?
Third Person
Andi Clark parked her van in front of the Auburn City Park where the first Christmas event of the year would kick off in an hour. People bustled around putting the finishing touches on craft and food booths. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving and the whole county was excited to move from the doldrums of a rainy fall into preparations for Christmas.
She never arrived more than an hour before an event. Any earlier her crew of cuddles became bored and got into trouble. The committee had asked her to set up a small petting zoo where people would enter the event. She’d parked as close as she could get with the inflatable decorations and roped-off areas making the attendees follow a specific path through all the booths and over to where Santa would listen to children’s Christmas wishes.
“Come on, Cocoa, I can use your help carrying things.” Andi unbuckled her brown and white border collie from the seatbelt harness and listened to Lulu whine. Andi scratched the Chiweenie’s dapple head and black, long furry ears. “You’re too small to help me right now. You keep Athena company.” She patted the Golden Retriever/Pyrenees cross dog’s blonde head and followed Cocoa to the trailer behind the van.
Lucky for her all her animals were small except for Athena. The large breed cross was larger than her mini donkey and pygmy goat. Andi pointed to the bucket full of the pins that held the panels together. Cocoa grabbed the handle in her mouth. Andi gathered the top two panels and carried them to the area with a sign, Cuddle Farm Animals.
First Person
Parking my van in front of the Auburn City Park, I watched people bustling around getting food and craft booths ready for the first Christmas event of the year to kick off in an hour. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving and the whole county was excited to move from the doldrums of a rainy fall into preparations for Christmas and the possibility of snow.
I never arrive more than an hour before an event. Any earlier my crew of cuddles become bored and get into trouble. The committee asked me to set up a small petting zoo at the entrance to the event. I made my way by the inflatable decorations and roped-off areas funneling attendees down a specific path through all the booths and over to where Santa would listen to children’s Christmas wishes.
“Come on, Cocoa, I can use your help carrying things.” I unbuckled my brown and white border collie from the seatbelt harness and listened to Lulu whine. Scratching the dapple head and soft, black, long furry ears of my Chiweenie, I said, “You’re too small to help me right now. You keep Athena company.” I patted Athena, my Golden Retriever/Pyrenees’, blonde head and followed Cocoa to the trailer behind the van.
Lucky for me, all my animals are small, except for Athena, and fairly easy to handle. Athena was larger than both my mini donkey and pygmy goat. At the trailer loaded with panels to set up a small pen, I pointed to the bucket full of pins that held the panels together. Cocoa grabbed the handle in her mouth and I gathered the top two panels and carried them to the area with a sign, Cuddle Farm Animals.
Which version makes you want to continue reading?
When I wrote my first mystery 30 years ago, it was in first person. then an agent I sent it to, told me that no one bought mystery books in first person. Which floored me because I had just read the first three Sue Grafton books that were in first person. Anyway, I moved from first person to third and on to a different genre. Now that I’m back writing mysteries, I wonder if I also need to switch to first person for this series. I encourage all thoughts and responses to this dilemma.
A fun new adventure for me, besides trying to decide which tense to use in this new series, is having my books available to readers and listeners from my website. Yes! You can now purchase my ebooks, audiobooks, and print books from my website.
The ebooks are the same price as at other vendors but if you are a subscriber to my newsletter you will be able to purchase my new releases in ebook format from my website for a $1 less and get it before it publishes to other vendors. So if you want to get my new releases at a reduced price and before they release anywhere else, you need to subscribe to my newsletter. https://bit.ly/2IhmWcm
Also available from my website are my audiobooks, which ARE priced lower than at other audiobook vendors. Because I don’t have to pay a middleman to get my audiobooks to you, you get the reward of a lower cost. Also watch my newsletter and website for audiobook deals. As part of the IAD- Independent Authors Direct- group, I will have specials on my audiobooks every two weeks.
My print books have been for sale on my website for a year now. If you purchase a print book directly from me, you get it autographed, some swag, and free shipping. You can’t beat that!
Happy New Year everyone!


Sharon, I do that anyway when I write third person so that’s easy to do. 😉
LikeLike
This certainly resonates with me. When I was writing The Sacrificial Daughter, I started in first person, switched to third person, decided that didn’t work and went back to first person. I found that the farther I got into the story, the POV became clearer for me. You may find that true for your WIP.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Janet, I’m finding that I like the first person for this character and series. She is in tune with her animals so I can make them more “real” from her POV if that makes sense. Thanks for commenting!
LikeLike
I find first person more personal and direct. However, third has a certain authority to it. Frankly, both samples read great, Paty. Do what you’re more comfortable with.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve actually been writing it in first person and have caught myself in third a time or two but I like where it’s going with this POV.
LikeLike
I appreciate your dilemma, especially after reading both passages. I’ve faced the same question when I realized my close third was so close that I slipped into first person, but that didn’t feel right because I could no longer articulate the character’s feelings in language a slight lift above what she would have said or not said at all. It was a hard choice, but I kept to a very close third and that has worked for me. I can get into the character’s head without limiting what I as narrator can say. It’s a tough choice. I’ve learned not to listen to most editors–they really don’t know what the “typical reader” wants, except a good story. Great post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Susan. I ended up going with first person and I do like it better. I hope my fans will since everything else has been in third person.
LikeLike
I’ve read and enjoyed mysteries written in both first person and close third, so I think you can do whichever you feel most comfortable with.
To me, your two samples sound very similar, so I don’t think it matters which POV you choose.
You may end writing a whole draft and then changing the POV on the next one if something doesn’t feel right.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Sharon! I ended up going first person and like the story. I just have to think a little harder as I write. LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, you just have to remember not to include descriptions of things that the POV character can’t know.
LikeLike