by donalee Moulton

I thought I’d share my synopsis – my very first – with you. I’d love to know what you think.

Synopsis
Hung Out to Die: A Riel Brava Mystery
By donalee Moulton

Let’s start with the obvious.
Meet Riel Brava. Attractive. Razor-sharp. Ambitious.
Riel, born and bred in Santa Barbara, California, has been transplanted to Nova Scotia where he is CEO of the Canadian Cannabis Corporation (CCC). It’s business as usual until Riel finds the company’s comptroller hanging by a thread. Actually, several threads. It doesn’t take the police long to determine all is not as it appears.

Let’s dive beneath the surface.
Meet Riel Brava. Observant. Cautious. Psychopathic.
Not the Dexter-Hannibal Lecter-Norman Bates kind of psychopath. The kind who live and work among us, mostly unnoticed, often successful, always on full alert their differences will be uncovered. Riel is personable, even charming. He’s keen to understand how the human mind works, so he’ll blend in. After all, his goal is to be president of the United States. (An aspiration that will feature in future books.)

Let’s talk plot.
So Norm Bedwell has apparently hanged himself in his office at CCC. Emphasis on apparently. It takes Detective Lin Raynes mere minutes to suspect the obvious is deceiving and what appears to be death by suicide is actually a murder. Over the course of 13 chapters (there is also an introductory chapter), he works to uncover and discover who would want Bedwell dead and how they could have pulled the murder off.

He’s not alone. In an unusual pairing, Raynes and Riel work together to chase down leads – the bully who tortured Bedwell’s son at school, the mysterious orange truck that belongs to no CCC employee but was parked in the company lot the night Bedwell was murdered, the employee, who despite stringent security measures, has managed to steal weed from CCC and start a healthy little illegal business.

Raynes manages to engage Riel, albeit reluctantly, in the hunt for Bedwell’s killer, and in the process, the seeds of an unexpected and unusual friendship are sown. (These seeds will blossom in subsequent books.)

Various motives are explored through a number of suspects – revenge, fear, greed – but ultimately, it’s love that becomes the reason Norm Bedwell no longer lives. Unfortunately, the evidence is circumstantial. Raynes and Riel concoct a scheme to draw a confession out of the killer, but that plan is never put into place. Instead, Riel finds himself on the receiving end of a rifle in the ribs and a long drive to the middle of Nowhere, Nova Scotia.

Let’s look at the core cast of returning characters. You’ll like them all.

Tiffany Brava. Riel’s wife and loyal supporter. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind, Tiffany knows Riel is not quite like everyone else – and why. For now, that door is closed. What’s openly obvious is her affection for her husband, her loyalty, and her acumen. Don’t count Tiffany out as the dumb blonde. Oh yes, she’s vegan.

Franklin Raynes. The Halifax Police Department’s lead detective on this case is Black, quintessentially Nova Scotian, and a consummate charmer. He can read the room and respond accordingly. He takes a shine to Riel, and also realizes how helpful the psychopath can be in solving this case. (Yes, Lin Raynes is privy to Riel’s deepest secret, but he doesn’t admit it to his new friend – just yet.) Oh yeah, Raynes also does this thing with his left eyebrow.

Senator John Williams. Tiffany’s dad | Riel’s father-in-law is the Democratic Senator for District 19. A seasoned and senior politician, Williams is a co-owner of CCC, although it’s not an asset he talks about with constituents. He’s brusque, except where his daughter is concerned, and well connected, even in Canada.

Zahra Bashir. A practising Muslim and savvy TV reporter who’s always on the lookout for the inside scoop. Bashir makes many of the other characters very nervous despite her friendly demeanor.

David Clements. The recreational cannabis sector in Canada is heavily regulated. Clements is the federal DOJ’s contact for Riel. Their relationship is one of power and powerful expectations. Clements holds that power. A minor character, Clements plays an important role. He’s the first person to use a special word.

There are other characters introduced in this book who will also return but play a smaller role in this mystery.

Let’s look at the cast of characters in the book. You won’t like them all.
* Faye Bedwell, distraught and disrespected wife of Norm Bedwell.
* Bran Bedwell, the Bedwell’s 12-year-old son who takes a liking to Riel. Good grief.
* Thorne, media consultant and very protective of Riel
* The bully and his parents.
* The poor sod who owns the orange truck.
* The killer.

What’s familiar about Hung Out to Die to make mystery fans feel at home
It’s fast-paced. It lays out a path of breadcrumbs that lead, ultimately, to the killer. First, of course, it branches off in several misdirections. It creates suspense. It builds understanding and affection for key characters. It leaves readers wanting more.

What’s novel about the book to make the mystery stand apart and readers turning pages
It introduces a unique character that, ironically, we empathize with. It’s funny as hell. It’s written by an award-winning journalist who knows how to tell a story and how to use words to maximum effect.

Riel Brava: Vital Statistics
Height: 6’1
Weight: 165 pounds
Waist: 35 inches
Age: 37
Spouse: Tiffany, the vegan
Job: CEO, Canadian Cannabis Corp.
Location: Elmsdale, Nova Scotia, Canada
Ambition: President of the United States of America
Favorite food: Donairs (definitely not vegan)
Top personality trait: Psychopath
Burning question: What the hell’s a chunderf**k

By donalee Moulton

Where your characters live, work, and solve mysteries can be central to the story. Or not. I’ve discovered that location is not a requirement or an irrelevancy. It is a spectrum.

At one end of the spectrum, location is essential. As a result, you spend time bringing that location to life, making it real, and of real interest to readers. This requires knowing whereof you write or researching whereof you write. Or both. Conflagration!, a historical mystery, is based on the real-life story of Marie-Joseph Angélique, an enslaved Black woman accused of burning the lower town of Montreal to the ground in 1734. Montreal as a place and as a community is intertwined with the plot and the characters, fictional and otherwise. As a result, I had to immerse myself in a time and place that no longer exist.

Move further along the location spectrum and you’ll arrive here: the location could be anywhere. The town, island, futuristic community where your characters go about their daily lives is woven into the story but not predetermined. It’s up to you. You may choose a place that is familiar, that fits within the theme of the book, or simply resonates with you.

My first mystery book Hung Out to Die introduces Riel Brava to readers. Riel is originally from Santa Barbara but now living in Nova Scotia, which is where I live. Fact is, Riel could have been uprooted to almost any location where cannabis production is legal. (Riel is CEO of the Canadian Cannabis Corporation. He’s also a psychopath (not the nasty kind), but we’ll save that for another blog.) I chose Nova Scotia because I know this location. Less research would be required, but I also have a deeper connection to this place because it is my place. Many readers have told me how the book feels so much like Nova Scotia. That was not intentional, but it reflects a knowledge of place that goes beyond street maps, tourist locations, and Yelp reviews.

Finally, we reach the other end of the spectrum: place is irrelevant. Indeed, a specific geographical location may not be necessary. I wrote a short story called “Moist,” that for the most part takes place in the main character’s home. Where that home is situated doesn’t matter.

After the story was published, there was a call for stories for an anthology Santa Cruz Ghost Stories. I reached out to the editor to explain that my story wasn’t really set anywhere so it could be set in Santa Cruz. She agreed. Minor changes were made (like changing Canadian spelling to American (“savour” became “savor”) and using the name of a dollar store Santa Cruz residents would easily recognize.

Ultimately, location is about character. The two go hand in hand.

by donalee Moulton

We’ve been talking about the editing process. We started at 30,000 feet looking at the big picture. Now we’re on terra firma.

In my book The Thong Principle: Saying What You Mean and Meaning What You Say, I discuss the various types of editing – and why they are all essential. For many of us, however, editing is synonymous with copyediting.

When you’ve finished the first draft of a book, a weight is lifted. Some writers do a dance of joy. But even as we celebrate an important milestone, we remind ourselves that there is more work to be done. The book needs to be read – line by line – for consistency, conciseness, and clarity. That is the heart of copyediting.

Copyediting is like minor surgery. The impact can be significant, but structural changes and in-depth revisions are not necessary (or have already been done).  This type of editing, the most common for most of what we write, involves editing a document for style, flow, and clarity. It also requires ensuring a consistent tone and pacing. Publishers often call it line editing.

Editors Canada offers the following overview for stylistic editing, or line editing. For many writers, this is what they’re doing when they are copyediting. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what we call it as long as we do it.

Stylistic Editing

Editing to clarify meaning, ensure coherence and flow, and refine the language. It includes:

• eliminating jargon, clichés, and euphemisms
• establishing or maintaining the language level appropriate for the intended audience, medium, and purpose
• adjusting the length and structure of sentences and paragraphs
• establishing or maintaining tone, mood, style, and authorial voice or level of formality

What’s a Copyeditor To Do

Here are six areas of focus to help ensure your writing resonates with your audience and achieves your purpose.  When you look closely at these elements, you sharpen the writing and the plot. Readers are more likely to be carried along by your words. There will be no head scratching and no rereading to make the meaning is clear.

Check for:

ONE: CLARITY
Look to see if you are using:

• Long sentences that could confuse readers
• Big words readers could stumble over
• Uncommon words that will furrow their brows
• A tone that distracts or conflicts with the content

Bottom line: Make sure the meaning of what you write can’t be misinterpreted.

TWO: TRANSITIONS

• Between sentences
• Between paragraphs
• Movement in time, place, subject

Transitions aren’t usually complex. They flow naturally moving readers through prose with short, everyday words like “however,” “so,” and “then.”

THREE: CONCRETENESS

• Facts and figures
• Specific language
• Action verbs
• Active voice

Readers want us to paint a picture for them – one they can see and one they can believe in.

FOUR: REPETITIVENESS

• Are specific ideas repeated unnecessarily?
• Are words used more than once in sentences? In paragraphs?

Tip: Avoid summarizing. Readers don’t require it, and it slows them down.

FIVE: COMPLETENESS

• Are the 5Ws and how answered?
• Are there any unanswered questions when there shouldn’t be?

Have you emphasized the most important question: Why?

SIX: FLOW

• Does the content make sense
• Do the words move smoothly

Find out for yourself.  Read your writing out loud.

by donalee Moulton

We’ve been talking about editing, an essential element in the writing process that writers relish. When you’re creating characters, polishing plot, and tossing red herrings around to mystify readers, it can be easy to lose sight of the book as a whole, to remember what happened in chapter four when you’re on chapter fourteen.

Writers also get close to their work, sometimes too close. We spend time, often at 4 a.m., thinking about the novel, the action, the actors, the unfolding of the story. It’s hard to see the whole when you’re immersed in the parts.

That’s where editing comes in. But we’ve been talking about editing as if it’s one thing. It isn’t. There are several kinds of editing, and they take place at different points in the writing process.

Substantive Editing.

This is where the high-level work begins, the 30,000-foot view before we delve into the weeds. It involves rethinking and rewriting. This may mean rewriting whole paragraphs or the entire document. It may involve restructuring or reorganizing parts of the text. It may include identifying where new information is required or existing information should be deleted.

Editors Canada has this to say about substantive editing, which is also called structural or developmental editing.

Structural Editing.

Assessing and shaping draft material to improve its organization and content. Changes may be suggested to or drafted for the writer. It may include:
– revising, reordering, cutting, or expanding material
– writing original material
– determining whether permissions are necessary for third-party material
– recasting material that would be better presented in another form
– revising material for a different medium (such as revising print copy for web copy)
– clarifying plot, characterization, or thematic elements

Substantive editing is major surgery. It is about ensuring the medical team is ready to operate. Blood work has been analyzed, the plan for the procedure reviewed, the instruments lined up neatly, everything and everyone sterilized. The goal: to ensure a successful outcome.

That’s what writers want for their readers. Substantive editing helps them do that. Editors Canada notes that this type of editing supports writers as they define their goals, identify their readers, and shape the manuscript in the best possible way. It enables writers to clarify the argument, fix the pacing, suggest improvements, and draw missing pieces from the author.

It makes the view from 30,000 feet truly spectacular.

Learn More.

You can learn more about this in donalee’s book The Thong Principle: Saying What You Mean and Meaning What You Say.

by donalee Moulton

Great writers don’t need an editor. They demand one. What first-rate writers understand is that another pair of eyes or a fresh pair of eyes are essential to successful communication. This second looks brings a new perspective, the distance that only time (even a little time) can offer, and renewed energy to improve content.

In my book The Thong Principle: Saying What You Mean and Meaning What you Say, I suggest readers try this exercise. You’ll need a piece of paper, 8.5” x 11” if possible.

Now transform that flat piece of paper into the world’s most wonderful flying machine. The goal is to soar, specifically to fly as far as possible. Take a few minutes to play with different designs, then stand up and launch your creation. How far did it go?

Now let’s rethink, or edit, the exercise. What did your flying machine look like? Something similar to a paper airplane?

Let’s review the instructions, the language. Nowhere did it say to build a paper airplane. It said a flying machine. The goal was distance. What would be an easier way to build a flying machine? What would get us great distance?

Crumpling the paper into a ball would.

That’s what editing does. As we write, whether for a reader or a listener, we dive in. Ideas flow. We create content. We think about our audience. We identify important points to make. We’re in the midst of our content, our characters, and our creativity.

When we edit, we take a step back. We come up for air. We have a different perspective – and a draft on which to overlay a fresh set of eyes. Even short pieces of writing should be edited. We need to think before we walk away. We need to give ourselves time to review and revise. To take one last read through (or think through). You’ll be surprised at what you missed or decide to revise.

Editing is essential to clear, concise, compelling writing. But editing isn’t just one thing. Just as pizza isn’t just one thing. There is deep dish pizza with red carnival spinach. Thin crust pepperoni and Bloomsdale spinach. New York-style pizza with Tyee spinach. Notice though that although the type of pizza is different there are common elements.

That’s also true when it comes to editing. There are three broad types: substantive editing, stylistic editing, and copyediting.

I thought we could spend a little time exploring these different types of editing in future blogs. Until then, I’d love to hear from you about your editing process, what drives you nuts, what makes your heart sing.