Grit, Grits, or Gritty? by Heather Haven

The meaning of the word grit when used to described a person states “courage and resolve; strength of character.” At least, that’s what the Oxford Dictionary says. I like to think I have grit. But I don’t like the word so much. Grit. Naw. Not a great word.

Now grits. I can get behind grits. And often do. Back to the Oxford Dictionary: “A dish of coarsely ground corn kernels boiled in water or milk.” I like my grits in the morning with bacon and eggs. I like cheesy grits. I like buttery grits. Some people like their grits plain, just a little salt and pepper. I can do that, although I really prefer them with lots of butter or cheese. Whoops! I think I said that.

Moving on to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary on the word gritty. When applied to a person it means “Having strong qualities of tough uncompromising realism. A gritty novel.” Unfortunately, I don’t write gritty. I write cozy. I rarely read gritty, either. I like happy endings or at the very least, ones with justice. And I don’t like too much suffering, especially with an animal. If a novel gets too gritty for me (or a movie) I give it a toss. I try to protect myself.

I didn’t used to be like that, but I learned my lesson the hard way. After reading The Pawnbroker at sixteen years old, I didn’t sleep for three nights. I cried all the time. It’s the story of a WWII concentration camp survivor and it was beyond tough to read. In my teens, this book taught me that I don’t have the “4th wall” that most people do. I was traumatized by the book but in a way, it was a good thing. If I had any childish illusions about sadism, concentration camps, and human suffering, this book dispelled them. It also turned me into an adult overnight. I have never been the same after reading it. That is the power of a novel. That is the power of the written word.

Now in all fairness, The Pawnbroker was beyond gritty. But I find the older I get, the more precious life becomes. The more I respect goodness, kindness, and generosity of spirit. I’ve also been through enough gritty things in my own life that I don’t want to spend time reading about other’s grittiness. Plus, if I want to be scared out of my wits, despondent, or depressed I have but to turn on the six o’clock news or step on a scale.

So, I think I’ve covered the three words, grit, grits, and gritty. And give me grits every time.

Guest Blogger ~ MM Desch

Why I Wrote an LGBTQ (Medical Thriller) Mystery

Every mystery writer knows that moment when life hands you a story, though mine arrived with the bureaucratic charm of a DEA agent on an ordinary afternoon in my Phoenix psychiatric practice. I suppose I should have expected it, having recently qualified to prescribe buprenorphine for opioid addiction treatment. The universe has peculiar timing, particularly when you’re drawn to the psychological complexities of LGBTQ characters navigating medical mysteries. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent years watching people navigate the collision between who they are and who the world expects them to be, and writing LGBTQ characters in medical crises lets me excavate those psychological fault lines in ways that feel necessary, especially these days.

The agent’s unannounced inspection was routine, professional, even cordial once I explained that I hadn’t actually used this newfound prescribing capability yet. But as we sat in my office, surrounded by the everyday detritus of psychiatric practice, tissues strategically placed, diplomas asserting competence, that one plant I somehow hadn’t killed, my writer’s mind began its familiar excavation. What if I had been prescribing buprenorphine? What if some had gone missing? What if someone in this very building was orchestrating a diversion scheme with the methodical precision of a chess master?

That afternoon planted the seed for Tangled Darkness, though it would marinate in my subconscious for years before finally demanding to be written.

The premise crystallized when I combined that DEA visit with my experiences serving on Arizona’s Medical Board committee for impaired physicians. I’d witnessed how addiction could transform brilliant medical minds into ethical contortionists—people trained to heal suddenly finding themselves entangled in webs of their own making. The stories I heard were psychological case studies in how desperate circumstances can rewrite even the most carefully constructed moral code.

But the real catalyst emerged from a pattern I’d observed: the more ethical and scrupulous a physician was, the more vulnerable they became to exploitation. Their conscientiousness could be weaponized against them with surgical precision. This paradox fascinated me, the idea that integrity could become a liability. What if someone filed a false complaint against an innocent psychiatrist? What if that psychiatrist harbored a secret history that made the accusation both plausible and devastating?

Enter Dr. Leslie Schoen, my protagonist. She’s ethical, competent, and living with the transparency that recovery demands—her wife Izzy knows about her journey with alcoholism, and they’ve built their relationship on that foundation of honesty. Which makes the secret she’s now carrying so much more corrosive. When a Medical Board complaint lands alleging that Leslie has stolen opiates from her clinic, she can’t bring herself to tell Izzy, not when her wife is pregnant, not when the accusation feels like a knife twisted in the wound of her recovery. The irony is exquisite in its cruelty: her very status as someone in recovery makes the false allegation both plausible and devastating.

The murder element emerged from a simple question: In a medical practice where controlled substances represent both healing and profit, what happens when someone knows too much? I envisioned Damon Grady, a medical assistant caught between loyalty and desperation—his death would need to be clinically precise yet psychologically revealing, appearing as an overdose while carrying deeper implications about betrayal and survival.

My years in addiction psychiatry taught me that buprenorphine occupies a uniquely precarious position in the opioid crisis. It’s medication that can save lives when used properly, yet because it is another opioid, it’s valuable currency on the street. This duality—medicine as both salvation and commodity—became the engine driving my plot. The very safeguards designed to prevent diversion could be manipulated by someone who understood the system from within.

Portland provided the perfect setting after my relocation from Phoenix. Here was a city where medical marijuana dispensaries operated alongside prestigious medical centers, where progressive healthcare coexisted with the ongoing addiction crises. This backdrop felt like the perfect petri dish for the story I wanted to tell—where cutting-edge addiction treatment coexisted with people dying from overdoses three blocks away.

What made the premise truly compelling was layering in the psychological complexity I’d observed throughout my career. The most dangerous people I’ve encountered in clinical practice aren’t the ones wearing their pathology like a neon sign—they’re the ones whose choices feel both inexplicable and inevitable. I wanted characters who would make readers squirm with recognition, the kind of people you might defend at a dinner party right up until you learn what they’ve done.

The investigation structure allowed me to explore how medical professionals react under scrutiny. Having participated in peer reviews and committee investigations, I understood the unique terror of having your professional reputation questioned. That fear could drive even innocent people to make choices that would haunt them forever.

Writing Tangled Darkness became an exercise in precision—every scenario needed to be plausible enough that medical professionals would nod in recognition yet twisted enough to keep readers guessing. The drug diversion scheme had to be sophisticated enough to temporarily succeed but flawed enough for a determined psychiatrist to unravel. Because even the most brilliant criminals are ultimately human, and humans make mistakes—often the kind that reveal exactly who they are when nobody’s supposed to be watching.

The deeper I dove into the story, the more I realized I wasn’t just writing about prescription drug diversion or murder. I was exploring how systems designed to help us can be corrupted, how past traumas shape present choices, and how the pursuit of truth sometimes requires risking everything we’ve built. It’s a psychological-medical thriller doubling as an LGBTQ mystery. Many would say all of the above.

That cordial DEA agent who visited my Phoenix office had no idea he was launching a debut novel. But then again, the most compelling stories often begin with an ordinary moment—a routine inspection, a casual question. Sometimes the best plots are just waiting there in the everyday machinery of our lives, disguised as paperwork.

TANGLED DARKNESS

When Dr. Leslie Schoen becomes a suspect in her clinic assistant’s murder, she investigates a dangerous web of opiate drug theft while protecting her pregnant wife and confronting her own haunted past. Racing against time to clear her name, she discovers everyone has secrets—and someone in her inner circle is willing to kill to keep them hidden.

Buy link: https://books2read.com/u/bwgvYO

MM Desch brings over three decades as a practicing psychiatrist to her debut psychological thriller, TANGLED DARKNESS (Rowan Prose Publishing). With a passion for telling realistic stories about the veiled realm of psychiatric practice, Desch blends high crime and suspense with her real-world knowledge of addiction medicine. She and her wife live in Portland, Oregon, USA.

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The Magic of Families

From the first Thanksgiving to this…there is magic in our past, and in families who share their stories across that long linen-covered table filled with the food of our nation. As Americans, we often mourn the loss of the nuclear family, but that loss is as old as this country. Those who came first left the safety of a more settled world for the new. And boom! (That’s my version of a nuclear explosion.) They didn’t all stay put; some moved, east to west century after century, connecting, shifting and moving on.

The magic that links us is in the details.

My husband’s family (both sides) came to America shortly after the Mayflower landed. You can call them early adopters, or people seeking religious freedom, either works. Though one group was from the Netherlands and the other from Great Britain, they both left the Netherlands for Massachusetts on the same boat. I have visions of them, one group in their wooden shoes and pointy white hats, the other in their black-and-white Puritan best, huddled in steerage, having a golly-really conversation about Puritanism. Neither group took to it. Those from England stayed in the Bay Colonies before heading south to Rhode Island, then to New Jersey, and finally to Pennsylvania.

The Nederlanders migrated to what became Johnson County, Indiana, where they farmed and became Presbyterians, producing many ministers. Then, almost three hundred years later, the offspring of these immigrants met in Syria, one as a missionary, the other teaching, and, well. Think of the time they could have saved if the two families had married into each other on the way to the Massachusetts Bay Colony.

More magic

My father’s mother’s family were Cumberland gappers and verified DARers (yes, they’re in the book). The Alsace-Lorrainian farmers on the other side arrived in the 1830s. Reports handed down through the family drum, which has proven quite accurate, and, with a family bible as evidence, claim that one of those pesky people who keep marrying into families (you know the sort) also hung out in Johnson County, Indiana and married into my father’s line.

If the evidentiary bible is correct, that family sported a Low Countries surname, not dissimilar to that of my husband’s mother’s family.

So, did my husband’s relatives and mine coffee clatch back in Johnson County before each packed up and moved further west? My family to Illinois (is that really west?), my husband’s to Oregon, back when, though a state, it was pretty frontier-ish.

Ruminate on this: How do two people, one from Oregon and one from Pennsylvania, whose families shared passage on the same boat to the New World in the 1600s, end up in Syria about a day after Lawrence of Arabia left and marry each other? And how does their offspring end up marrying a woman in California whose family roosted in Johnson County, Indiana, in the 1800s, when one was born on the East Coast and the other in Illinois?

Gabble away over your turkey

You might discover connections to your past that lead to a future. I urge you to remember, as you write your next tale, nothing is too weird or coincidental when it comes to a family’s past (translation: the duck might be somebody’s uncle).

Happy Thanksgiving. Lots of Turkey. And hugs to all.

Update: For those of you who worried about my lost file. I found it!!!!!! And restored it!!!!! And the book, ‘The Orleans Lady’, is being beta-read right now!!!!

For more about me and my books, go to https://dzchurch.com, where you can sign up for my newsletter and find juicy facts about all my books, including The Wanee Mysteries and The Cooper Quartet. You might even find yourself clicking through to buy one or two, or, heck, all.

EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE

Hello, Ladies ~

As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself reminiscing about last year’s holiday, which was the last family celebration I had with my sister, Lori, and uncle, Terry. Of course, we never truly know when we’ll be called home, but I sensed at the time that it would be their last holiday season here on earth.

Every effort was made to enjoy all the trappings and food that come with Thanksgiving and Christmas. We cooked, laughed, and took lots of pictures to capture the special moments.

As I put up my authentic, fake Christmas tree today, a pang of nostalgia pricked my heart knowing I will most likely never trapse through the woods in search of the perfect Noble tree. Large family holiday gatherings are now a thing of the past with the loss of my sister and uncle.

My mini-melancholy vacation was interrupted when one of my Beta readers called with input on “Chaos in Cabo.”

“I loved this book, Kimila,” she said. “I think this is the best book you’ve written so far. I loved all of the emotional turmoil your main characters faced. Their struggles brought them to life, and I couldn’t wait to see how they worked through their issues.”

I choose Beta readers who I know will always be honest with me. I appreciate being told what is wrong with a character or storyline. Knowing where the problems are helps me rewrite the book and bring everything into a better light.

When I finished “Chaos in Cabo,” I didn’t think it was very good. I attributed my concerns to the fact that the book had been written in starts and stops due to the rough journeys of my sister and uncle. Every time I stopped working on the book, I would lose track of the character arcs and storyline. When I was able to get back to writing, I’d have to read from the beginning to reintroduce myself to the story and find my rhythm.

I’ve never suffered from writer’s block, but the weight of my family’s struggles kept me off balance. And then there are those emotions … sadness, anger, confusion, hopelessness … and many more.

Had my emotions bled into my writing? Did the upheaval in my life thread its way into my characters’ lives? Could it be I had channeled my cornucopia of feelings into my story?

“Chaos in Cabo” had three Beta readers, and I was anxious to hear what the other two had to say. When my next reader texted to see if I could talk about the book, I said I’d call her from my car. “No,” she texted, “I want you to focus on what I have to say, so call when you can listen.”

Alarm bells went off, but I called as soon as I could. Her first words were, “This is the best book yet! The characters were so interesting, I didn’t want their stories to end.”

The conversation continued and was similar to what my first Beta reader said. Imagine my delight when I received the same fabulous feedback from Beta reader number three.

I think as writers we bring parts of ourselves and our lives into the stories we write. Maybe it’s a favorite childhood memory that we have a character share with readers. Or a broken heart served up at the hands of a partner who cheated or left without a valid reason. Then there’s the void left in your life when someone dies.

In “Chaos in Cabo,” my heroine, Detective Socorro Cortés, enlists the help of her former fiancé to solve the murder of his niece’s boyfriend. While trying to solve a murder that she thinks is linked to a scam calling crew, she has to deal with another ex who is trying to win her back. Oh, the emotional rollercoaster she rides!

Lieutenant Amado Peña just wants to help his niece and leave Cabo San Lucas as soon as possible. He knows he can’t risk having Coco break his heart again. But when he’s drawn into her efforts to solve two crimes she believes are connected, he finds himself also wondering whether he still has feelings for Socorro Cortés. Can a broken heart learn to love again?

Alida Burton has two goals in life: to remove abusive men from the planet. And to make as much money as possible from unsuspecting marks. Given her cruel treatment at the hands of previous males, Alida has no intentions of falling in love—ever—until she meets Antonio Ruiz. Could it be that even someone as damaged as Alida can overcome her hatred and trust a man?

The wonderful feedback from my Beta readers has reminded me that even the hardest times in our lives can produce small blessings. “Chaos in Cabo” might have taken longer than my normal timeline to write, but I’m thankful that my emotional baggage allowed me to create unforgettable characters with stories that readers don’t want to end.

Ladies ~ I hope your Thanksgiving holiday brings much joy and many blessings. Gobble, Gobble!!!

I write like I pack a suitcase

I write like I pack—I take whatever I need and stuff it into story or suitcase. This is good for writing, but not for packing—or the trip I’m going on. I recently attended Crime Bake, our annual systery writers conference in New England, and I arrived with the same suitcase I used for a recent three-week vacation overseas.

The conference runs two full days, which is really one full day and two half days, the latter being Friday afternoon and evening and Sunday morning. Saturday is a full day, and runs well into the evening. Do I really need a full suitcase for this? 

My wardrobe for Friday night is settled because I drive down with a friend, and I’m fully prepared. It’s like the opening scene in a short story—I include all those details that tell the reader exactly where she is. No wondering if this story is set in India or along the Eastern seaboard or on a farm. No wondering if the year is now or the 1950s. No wondering if that thing I refer to is sci-fi madness or just a bizarre way of describing the most ordinary things. I know what I’m wearing to the conference on my first appearance and plan to stay that way throughout the day because the arrival is well choreographed. But the rest of the time (and the story) . . . is a problem.

I want the reader to slide into the story and immediately be engaged in the surprises and developments. This is no time to get lazy. Or sloppy. With my wardrobe, I want to be comfortable and informal, so that means regular clothes, but my regular clothes are boring. There they sit in my suitcase, so I toss in a brighter sweater and nicer black pants (you can never have enough pairs of black pants). I can’t wear the same kind of outfit I wore on Friday for the same reason the story after the opening has to be more, something more than the opening, something surprising, different. I really have to “up my game,” or more simply, “something has to happen.” My main character is a middle-aged woman faced with upheaval in her life, lots of change—not very original. The ordinary needs work, so I introduce a compelling secondary character who tosses in a complication, a character who cheated on all his university exams and is now applying for a job in the CIA. Riveting? Hardly. But who knows about this? My main character remembers the guy from school. So the complication is good for my story, but my suitcase is filling up with more attractive options for Saturday (because, just like the story, I don’t know where I’m going during the day while I pack). And I haven’t yet gotten to Saturday night.

In preparation for my recent three-week trip overseas, the organizers made a point of telling the attendees that this was mostly walking in neighborhoods, woods, rural areas, etc. There was nothing fancy about this trip—very casual outdoor clothes were all that was needed. Great, I thought. Except, of course, someone added in small type, you might want to dress up a bit for a night out for dinner. I looked at the schedule, and there were several nights out for dinner. I loaded up my suitcase with several more pairs of black pants.

By now in my story I’ve come to the middle, which often sags. I don’t like sagging in fiction or in clothing. So worried that I’ll look dull Saturday night I rummaged through my closet for something dressier than a plain turtleneck sweater. But my brain was stuck on the sagging in my main character’s ability to tackle the threats and problems facing her. She has to do something to show she deserves to be the main character—break out of her dull pattern of living safely. Since she often works with hunters—issuing licenses, reporting on weather in the area, and the like—in her quiet Town Hall job, I make her familiar enough with weaponry to know which is the business end of a gun or rifle—just enough information to make her dangerous. And she responds by shooting one of the applicants for a hunting license (this is the CIA hopeful). She’s about to get away with it all—until it turns out she knew the man from college, and he “done her wrong.” So, is she guilty—the once demure lady now in a flamboyant see-through blouse—or the steady dull neighbor in the beige turtleneck? My suitcase is filling up and now I have to press down to make sure I can close it and I’m not done yet. I have to get through Sunday. My story isn’t doing any better. I’ve tossed in so many possibilities that I’ve probably overdone it.

My main character has to prove herself. She’s either guilty of murder or she isn’t. Which is it? Or is it something else? She makes bail—after all, she’s a known quantity, a longtime resident of the town, steady employee, spotless record (very plain wardrobe)—and sets about proving her innocence or at least figuring out a way to get off, one or the other. That means she’s no longer exactly the same person she was at the outset. It’s like Sunday at the conference—we have to be different from the first day; I can’t wear the same thing as Friday. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know, but I have an idea.

Sunday is a step up from Friday, something to show I’m more accomplished than I was at the beginning, that I’ve learned something over the last day and a half, that I’m a better writer, my money well spent. Just like my main character, I have to demonstrate I now have the needed abilities and good sense that I’ve been hiding. I’m different—black pants, yes, but a brightly colored blouse with a spiffy vest.

My main character is different too and has to demonstrate this in her explanation of what happened. And lordy knows I can do this because I’ve gone back and planted clues, changed clues, added a character or an incident—I’ve restructured the story to end up wherever I want. This means a lot more words and a lot of rewriting and adding and rearranging. It’s the same for my conference wardrobe. I now have the extras to pack in—underwear, jewelry, scarves, toiletries, all those things that are almost more important than a pair of black pants. 

My suitcase is close to too packed to close, but close it I must. I have so much folded into it by the time I’m ready to zip it shut that I can make anything work, any outfit, for any event, any contingency. This is the skill of the writer—I can pack whatever I need into my story, move it around, match it up with anything anywhere, a small detail about a character’s hearing or missing an appointment, and I have a plot (like an outfit) that works. My story ends up a marvel of subtle misdirection and character revelation, a neat perfection with an unimaginable twist and not a single unnecessary word. This is where my suitcase and story diverge, and I’m glad to leave both as they are. Time to move on.