The Monster Mash by PJ McIlvaine

A few summers ago, I was at a writing crossroads in my writing life and personally. I was a Jill of all trades: screenwriting, articles, interviews, essays, and kid-lit picture books. My first attempt at writing an adult book had failed miserably. It was a Stephen King rip-off that a big mucky muck agent had derided as “mediocre.” After I cried buckets of tears, I realized he was right. Call me many things, but not that. I vowed never again.

I’d long nursed two very different ideas: the first idea was a middle-grade coming-of-age about two brothers on summer vacation in Montauk who decide to create a monster in a failed attempt to save their parent’s floundering marriage. The other idea was a gritty, bad-to-the-bone adult thriller about a man who can’t remember exactly what happened the hot summer night his mother and brother were brutally murdered.

It was Labor Day. With the grandkids back to school, I began writing. It soon took over my life. Hunched for hours on the kitchen table, the words poured out of me. I wasn’t just in the zone, this was a white-hot blazing inferno on auto-pilot. I based my characters on people I knew and loved: my troubled brother and our dysfunctional family plus my imagination. I tossed in lots of pop and political culture, too, things I loved and hated. It was a heady brew of fact and fiction, and I loved every minute of it even though I had no idea what I was doing. Would it even work? Who knew? Not me. I was so scared that I refused to give it a title. For a long time, it was known only as THE THING.

Well, I finished THE THING–more likely, it had finished with me–after two intoxicating months. My brain was mush. I had no idea if my book–now titled A GOOD MAN–was publishable. Hell, I hadn’t even thought of anyone reading it. I write family stuff. Nice, family stuff. This was brutal, full of coarse language and behavior, and truly evil people. I knew it would probably–no, undoubtedly–turn some people off. But I hadn’t written it for some people. I had written it for me; in hindsight, it was therapeutic and I got a lot of ghosts out of my head. I like to say that some books need to be written. Well, this book chose me. I didn’t choose it. But since it had, I ran with it and pushed my boundaries far beyond what I thought myself capable of.

The road to publication wasn’t easy. Agents passed right and left. I heard every reason in the book and then some. They liked the voice, they hated the voice. They loved the characters, they hated the characters. There was too much sex. The main character was too unlikeable. I killed too many people. And the language. One agent who strung me along for weeks finally told me in no uncertain terms that A GOOD MAN was in their opinion–the words I’d dreaded–unpublishable and unmarketable as written. My sole consolation was that she didn’t say it was mediocre. That was probably my lowest point. I quietly mourned and consoled myself that it just wasn’t meant to be. I told myself the next book. For authors, hope is an eternal spring.

And then–just like in a Hollywood movie–a reputable British publisher appeared and offered a publishing contract. She told me in no uncertain terms that she thought my book–my poor little red-headed stepchild whom I loved fiercely and would defend with every breath of my being–was “brilliant.”  I wasn’t about to disagree and quickly signed the contract. The book, published in August 2024, became an Amazon best-seller. Who knew? Not me.

So what are my takeaways? Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust your gut despite the nagging voices of doubt in your head. Challenging myself to write with abandon and permitting myself to fail were wonderful gifts that keep on giving. Also, you can’t please everyone. The only thing a writer can control is the writing. The rest is up to the universe and even then, you still need a good deal of luck and magic.

Monsters are real. At least, the ones in my head are, but I put them to good purpose.

A GOOD MAN

Decades after a brutal childhood trauma, a famous novelist finds his life shattered once again, in this unsettling psychological mystery thriller.

After years of turmoil, Brooks Anderson is sober and has a stable life with his wife and two kids. He should be enjoying life, but the persistent nightmares and sleepwalking tell a different story.

As hard as he’s tried, Brooks can’t run away from the defining event of his life: the senseless murders of his mother and brother during a vacation in Montauk. An eight-year-old Brooks was the sole survivor of the carnage, which left him in a catatonic state. He buried his pain and eventually overcame his demons. Or so he believed.

Now an unscrupulous journalist is threatening to write about the deaths. Fearful that the truth will be twisted to suit sordid ends, Brooks decides to write his own book, despite the grave misgivings of his agent, wife, and father.

However, when the journalist is brutally killed, Brooks finds himself in the authorities’ crosshairs. To prove his innocence and exorcise the past, he digs deeper into his psyche and that fateful summer. His relentless pursuit of the truth soon leads Brooks down a slippery slope that challenges everything—and brings him face-to-face with the real monster of Montauk . . .”

“‘A Good Man’ provides the kind of insolent first-person narration that is reminiscent of John Self’s in Martin Amis’ ‘Money’ or Mickey Sabbath’s in Philip Roth’s ‘Sabbath Theater’. . . . Perfectly entertaining and well-crafted . . . McIlvaine writes with a ferocious wit and great breadth of knowledge. ‘A Good Man’ offers all the surprises and shocks that a mystery should.” —Newsday

Buy link: https://geni.us/AGoodMan

PJ McIlvaine is a prolific best-selling author, screenwriter, and journalist.

PJ is the author of the twisty adult contemporary crime psych thriller A GOOD MAN (Bloodhound Books, August 2023),  THE CONUNDRUM OF CHARLEMAGNE CROSSE  a YA alternate history adventure set in Victorian London(Orange Blossom Books, September 2023), VIOLET YORKE, GILDED GIRL: GHOSTS IN THE CLOSET a MG historical supernatural mystery (Darkstroke Books, 2022), and the picture books NO SUCH THINGS AS DRAGONS (Roan & Weatherford, 2024) illustrations by K.M. Brown, and  LITTLE LENA AND THE BIG TABLE (Big Belly Book Co., 2019), illustrations by Leila Nabih.

PJ’s Showtime original movie MY HORRIBLE YEARwas nominated for a Daytime Emmy. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, Newsday, Crime Reads/Lit Hub, Writer’s Digest, and elsewhere.

PJ lives in Eastern Long Island with her family along with Luna, an extremely spoiled French Bulldog/couch potato. Also, she’s distantly related to the French philosopher/feminist/writer Simone de Beauvoir (PJ not Luna).

Website: https://pjmacwriter.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pj.mcilvaine

Twitter: https://twitter.com/PJMcIlvaine

Instagram: @pjmcilvaine

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/19256202.P_J_McIlvaine

Amazon Author Profile: https://amazon.com/author/pjmcilvaine