Are you all ready for Christmas? I am, finally, and feel accomplished with all my gifts wrapped and under the tree. We traveled to our home town for the holiday weekend and are enjoying visiting with family and friends. Christmas Eve brings a few gift deliveries and tonight we will make my sister’s famous Lemon Shortbread Christmas cookies.

Looking back on the last few months, I realize though that I’ve been so immersed in holiday prep, I’ve missed out on actually visiting with friends and family.

Each year at the crack of dawn on the day after Thanksgiving, I’m up replacing my fall decorations with Santas and all things Christmas. This year, our oldest son, Norman, and his lovely wife, Kendra, along with our two adorable grandkids, Sloan and Carter, came for Thanksgiving. One of the things the grandkids have always enjoyed was decorating my tree. It was fun watching them sort through decades of ornaments, carefully putting them on my nine foot tree.

We always exchange gifts at Christmas, but it dawned on me the best part of this Thanksgiving was being present to experience them adorning our tree with memories from Norman’s childhood. We played games, watched the Ducks and Beavers play their last civil war game, and visited this and that.

It could be because I’m in my sixties now, or maybe because my mom passed several years ago, and along with her a lot of my holiday traditions. But I now think the best gift of all is being in the presence of family and friends.

I know Santa hasn’t delivered our gifts yet, but I’m already looking toward the New Year and thinking about how I can be more in the moment with my loved ones. The age old adage, “Your Presence is the best Present” should be the mantra we all follow.

So, as challenging as it might be, I’m going to focus on not being on my phone when I’m with others. Listening to my husband, Randy, when he wants to share a funny story or even his latest political opinion. (Insert eyeroll) I want to participate in the retelling of beloved family stories when I’m with my siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, since so many of us have lost the elders in our lives.

My husband, Randy, isn’t much of a holiday prep guy and doesn’t quite understand all the Christmas hype. Of course, I’d love for him to join in my fun. But he enjoys meeting friends for holiday toddies and watching football. The camaraderie of yelling at the refs and cheering on your favorite team is his favorite gift. A gift that’s hard to wrap for sure but something Randy loves and … will remember forever.

Within my circle of friends, we no longer exchange gifts, despite the fact that I always find the best presents. However, there is nothing like laughing over memories of our adventures throughout the year. Sharing fun stories about our families. Plotting and planning where we might vacation together. Or working out the details for our annual girls’ beach week on the Oregon coast. Again, I’m reminded that the best part of these gifts is the presence of all these wonderful people in my life.

Of course, one of my favorite places to be is in my writing zone. I love being down the rabbit hole with my current WIP, “Willow’s Woods”, enjoying the characters of Stoneybrook. And I can’t wait to start my stay in Cabo where “Chaos in Cabo” takes place. I do know though that when I’m writing I am very not present. I tend to ignore everyone and everything, wanting to stay in my zone and focus on my process. The anticipation of what my characters might do next or where the story will take us keeps me enthralled.

But in the coming year, I do plan to take a break and pop out of myself and be in the moment. I can’t wait to enjoy all the presents in my future I’ll be blessed with by my presence.

Merry Christmas, Ladies of Mystery. I hope each of you, and your families, have a lovely Christmas and a blessed New Year!

I mentioned in a previous post how much I detest the Christmas holiday, but I know that’s not true for many people. Christmas is a special time for those who are religious and for many who have children, too, and it can be a time to give a gift to someone who can’t afford the item or who would not otherwise have a gift at all. But generally speaking, among the middle-class folks I know, none of us need more “stuff.” Excess “stuff” is filling our garbage dumps and destroying our planet.

So, I really don’t like to give an unwanted item just for the sake of giving a gift, and I really don’t appreciate receiving those, either. What am I supposed to do with the perfume I’m allergic to, or the scarf I will never wear? Yes, there’s always re-gifting to someone else, but we have to be careful about passing it on or we might hurt the feelings of the person who originally gave the gift.

When I think about gatherings of family or friends, I have no great memories of gifts I received. Do you? My best memories are all of activities and laughter we shared. I hope that folks who gather for the holidays will do something fun together. My first choice would always be to get outside and go for a walk or snowshoe or build a snow woman a snow dinosaur or something physically active, out in nature.

However, I realize that not everyone is capable of rigorous outdoor activity, and often the December weather is not welcoming, either. So maybe, play a simple game that everyone can participate in, like charades. Or have a gift exchange where each person wraps one useful and inexpensive item, like a screwdriver or a soup mix or a set of cooking spoons, then draw from a central pool of wrapped gifts, and let each person keep their gift or trade for another gift that has already been opened (a white elephant gift exchange). That activity can be interactive, often hilarious, and everyone goes home with something that is at least useful.

If you must give a gift to everyone, consider giving a homemade item like cookies or jam or a soup mix, or give an experience, or even more precious, a gift of your time. You might offer to babysit for relatives or friends who would really appreciate an adult night out, or offer to help paint a room if you know someone who is remodeling, or promise to drive an elderly relative to visit friends, or teach someone who has always admired your sweaters how to knit. How about gardening help or a one-day use of your pickup to haul something? You can write out your promise and put it in a nice card with a bow on it.

If you’re not crafty or a great cook and you don’t have extra time to offer or possessions to lend, you might give a gift certificate for a local restaurant or movie theatre or bowling alley or theme park. Or if you are wealthy, give a whole weekend getaway to someone who really needs it. You can give the gift of a future event or holiday; the gifts don’t need to be immediate. We all need things to look forward to.

Gifts of your time, your creative skills, or an enjoyable experience are typically a lot more meaningful and useful than another piece of “stuff.” Focus on making memories instead of more credit card bills.

Most of us have way too much “stuff.” But nobody ever has too many happy memories. Happy Holidays!