by Margaret Lucke

In 1955 cartoonist Herb Gardner (who later wrote the play A Thousand Clowns) published a cartoon that became a classic. You’ve probably seen it. The drawing shows two of his famous Nebbish characters slouching in chairs, their stretched-out legs resting on a table. The caption reads: “Next week we’ve got to get organized.”

I subscribed to that philosophy for a long time, but recently I decided that for me, next week needs to be now. A brand-new year is arriving in a couple of weeks, and I’d like to greet 2025 in an office that is clean and free of the clutter created by old projects, bad habits, and all that stuff I’m definitely gonna get around to reading and doing someday. In other words, I want it to look less like the one in the picture. So I’ve embarked on a project to make my workspace SOFT for the coming year. That’s my acronym for Sort, Organize, File and Toss.

Unfortunately, I’ve discovered that Get Organized is not a task one can zip through in an hour and cross off the to-do list. Oh no, it’s much more complicated than that. In case your next week has become now, here’s a quick guide to the nine stages of getting O.R.G.A.N.I.Z.E.D.

Obliviousness – “What do you mean, get organized? My work, my finances, my home, my office, and my life are chugging along fine just the way they are. Well, sort of. Well, sometimes. Besides, all of this clutter and mess is an expression of my creative, carefree spirit.”

Realization – “Oops. Missed another appointment. And another deadline. And I forgot to pay that bill, though it doesn’t matter cuz my bank account is overdrawn anyway. But what’s driving me crazy is that I can’t find my silk shirt or that vitally important piece of paper.”

Goal-setting – “By gosh, I’m gonna do it. I’m getting my desk, my closet, my calendar, my files, my finances, and my life in order – by next Thursday.”

Acquisition – “Let’s see, I’ll need some how-to books with tips on getting organized, time management, and personal finance. And some file folders and office supplies. Oh, and a few of those cute baskets and boxes for stashing stuff. Uh-oh, where did I put my credit card.”

Naps – “I’m feeling overwhelmed just thinking about this project. And exhausted from all of that shopping. Right now I really need get some rest. After that I’ll be raring to go, I promise.”

Industry – “Okay, okay, I’m buckling down and getting started. This worn-out mateless sock? Trash. This three-year-old magazine? Recycle. This book I’ve finished reading. Donate.”

Zeal – “Look at me! Isn’t this exciting? I’m getting so much accomplished. Here are some tips I’m finding helpful. Tip 1: Break this huge project into small steps. Tip 2: Get rid of stuff you don’t find useful, beautiful, or valuable. When in doubt, throw it out. Tip 3: Have a place for everything and put everything in its place. Tip 4: Write things down; don’t rely on your memory. Tip 5: Reward yourself when you accomplish something. (Mmm, ice cream!)”

Evangelizing – “You know, my friend, your life would go so much better if only you’d get organized.”

Dreaming – “Yay! I’ve finished my organizing project. I have my life under control, and I’ll never have to spend time on organizing again.”

I hope this insight into the process will help you get organized – if not now, then maybe next week.

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Don’t forget the Ladies of Mystery Cavalcade of Books! Each of us has books on special offer until the end of this month. The list includes my novels, Snow Angel and House of Desire, with Kindle editions available for just 99 cents! Buy a few as gifts for your mystery-loving friends—and for yourself! You can find the Cavalcade by clicking here.

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Wishing you and yours the happiest of holidays and a wonderful, well-organized 2025!

by Margaret Lucke

Recipes. Craft instructions. Math puzzles. Party planning tips. Some mysteries these days offer more than an entertaining read. They provide a gateway to a new, more creative lifestyle. Which is wonderful — so long as that recipe it’s inviting you to try doesn’t include arsenic as a main ingredient.

While my characters relish eating good food (as do I), none of my novels contain recipes, though occasionally I stir one into my author newsletter. You won’t find hobby hints or craft tips in my books either. I like to cook and enjoy dabbling at art, but first and foremost I’m a writer. That’s the main way that I express my creativity.

So what I really want is a recipe that I can put to practical use. Something that’s helpful as well as tasty. Like this:

MURDER MYSTERY BUNDT CAKE

Ingredients:

*  1 villain (or more) with the means, motive and opportunity for murder

*  1 victim (or more) who has the misfortune to be in the villain’s way or to have something the villain wants

*  1 clever and likable detective with a good reason to want to solve the crime

*  A handful of the usual suspects, and maybe one or two unusual ones if you like that flavor

*  Several tablespoons of clues and red herrings

*  2 or 3 cups of conflicts and obstacles

*  A large measure of suspense

Instructions

1.  Place the villain and victim in a large bowl and mix until the victim meets an untimely demise.

2.  Add the detective to the mixture and blend until you have a thick, plot-like batter.

3.  Whisk in clues and red herrings and beat until they are well hidden.

4.  Stir in conflicts and obstacles. Note:  There will be lumps.

5.  Pour the suspense over the batter until it is completely saturated.

6.  Transfer the mixture in a bundt pan and bake in the oven of your imagination until done. Baking time may vary from three or four months to several years.

7.  Let cool but not too much.

8.  Sprinkle with powdered sugar or drizzle on a chocolate glaze.

9.  Cut, serve, and enjoy.

Try baking one of your own. I promise you it’ll be delicious.

by Margaret Lucke

Here’s a scene you’ll probably recognize. You’re at a cocktail party or a reception or some other event that involves standing around with a glass in your hand and making small talk with strangers. You’re chatting with someone you’ve just now met, and one of you says, “So, what do you do?”

The other one replies, “I’m a (fill in the blank). How about you?” After a brief exchange, you each nod politely and start looking around for someone else to talk to.

Some years ago, mystery novelist Linda Grant told me how she gave this standard, stilted conversation a new twist. Instead of mumbling, “Oh, how interesting,” when the other person named a profession, she would follow up with this: “Tell me, in your line of work who might you want to murder, and why? And how would you go about doing it? What weapons would you have at hand?”

The first response would be shocked silence. She could see the thought flickering in her companion’s eyes: What kind of nutcase are you?So she would smile and add, “Hypothetically of course. I’m looking for ideas for my next book.”

Then would come the sly grin. “You know, there’s this guy in the sales department . . . “

Almost everyone could come up with a person who would make a good murder victim, so long as it was only on paper. A backstabbing colleague, an overbearing boss, a customer who refused to pay a legitimate bill, a coworker who made everyone’s life hell by shirking responsibility or constantly cracking his knuckles. The types of victims and the motives for killing them seemed fairly universal.

What varied were the weapons—and it turns out that most of us have some at our disposal while we’re on the job. The car mechanic can tamper with the victim’s brakes. The clerk in the clothing store can wrap the silk sash from a dress around a person’s neck. The chef can chop a death cap mushroom into an omelet. The carpenter and the gardener can choose from several tools with sharp blades. The writer can bash someone over the head with a computer printer—and don’t think we’re not sometimes tempted.

At the time when Linda told me about her Cocktail Party Question, my husband and I owned a small printing business. The next day when I went to work I spent a few minutes doing a quick inventory of available tools for murder. We had cans of chemicals that were toxic or flammable, equipment that could be rigged to malfunction in ways that would cause its operator great bodily harm, a large paper cutter appropriately known as the guillotine. I found myself fingering the edge of the X-Acto knife blade. Very sharp, but too small to do the job? Maybe if it were pushed at just the right angle into just the right soft and vulnerable place on the body . . .

When I’ve taught mystery writing classes I’ve used the Cocktail Party Question as an icebreaker on the first day, pairing up students and having them ask and answer it for each other. At first all they can talk about is how weird the teacher is, but then they get into it, stretching their imaginations and beginning to see new possibilities for plots and characters.

Now it’s your turn. Choose your weapon as I pose the question to you: In your line of work, who might you want to murder, and why? And what weapons does your profession provide that could help you accomplish that dire deed?

Who knows, you now just might have the seed of a good mystery novel.

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Speaking of mystery writing classes, I’m going to be teaching one of those this fall for UC Berkeley Extension. Ten Wednesday evenings from September 11 to November 13. It’s on Zoom so you can join from anywhere. If you’d like inspiration and information on crafting crime fiction, from cozies to thrillers, or feedback on your work in progress, this class could be for you. Check it out here: https://tinyurl.com/mysterywriting2024