CHALLENGING SISTER

Happy Summer, Ladies ~ I wanted to start by thanking all of you who reached out during my sister Lori’s illness, and to let you know she passed away on June 2^nd.

My sister, fourteen months younger than me, always challenged me to be a good big sister.

Lori loved tossing her baby bottle from her crib and squealing until someone would retrieve it. Our single mom, Rita, would be busy cooking, cleaning, or getting ready for one of her three jobs, so I would toddle over and hand my baby sister her bottle. Lori would enjoy it until she wanted attention again and then toss it overboard again.

Lori challenged me to be my sister’s keeper when we were little girls. My job was to hold her hand, ensuring she stayed out of trouble when Mom took us shopping or to visit our grandparents’ small mom-and-pop store. On one exciting trip to Sears to shop for new summer sandals, I let go of Lori’s hand, and she wandered off.

“Where’s your sister?” Mom asked, frantically looking around the store. I shrugged and looked around, too.

My mother shrieked and raced toward a display of bathroom toilets, where my little sister sat perched on an avocado green throne.

“I go big girl potty, Mommy.” Lori beamed despite Mom snatching her from the toilet. She pulled up my sister’s panties and smoothed her sundress. Before leading her away from the display, my mother made the mistake of looking in the bowl where Lori had left a tiny brown deposit.

Needless to say, we didn’t go back to Sears for a few years.

As teenagers, Lori challenged me to be a less stuffy older sister. I was prone to wearing turtlenecks and loose-fitting Levi’s, while Lori preferred a hipper wardrobe of scoop-neck T-shirts and tight bellbottoms. One day, she and I went to the Medford Center to do a little shopping. Even though enough time had passed and we could have shopped at Sears, we decided on JC Penny’s. Lori stuck me in a dressing room and brought me clothes to try on.

I wore one of my new outfits to school the next day: a yellow blouse with cap sleeves and dark blue denim bellbottoms. I finally got my first compliment from a boy I liked when he said, “Nice jeans.”

As adults, Lori became an unwavering source of support when my son, Derrick, was diagnosed with autism, and I found myself a divorced mother of two. She watched my boys. She encouraged me to date. She taught me how to dance.

Despite her helpfulness, my relationship with my sister was also difficult. Sometimes I wanted to walk away from her instead of trying to mend whatever bridge she’d burned. So, as I said at the beginning, my sister Lori was challenging, and I share this story because I believe our relationship taught me how to shape characters for my books.

Whether I’m writing a Hero, a Heroine, or a Villain, I know I infuse my characters with some of Lori’s personality traits.

Clara in “Peril in Paradise” has Lori’s indomitable determination to find revenge for her daughter. In “Redneck Ranch,” Harley and Busy’s best friend relationship is a take-off of mine and Lori’s sisterhood. In “Vanished in Vallarta,” Jade is on a mission to find her missing little sister.

My female or male villains reflect some of her flaws, too, such as her unreasonable jealousy or sense of entitlement. Though Lori wasn’t necessarily evil, she did have a mean streak that, at times, she directed at me.

Over the last seven months, Lori challenged me to be a better writer. A better storyteller. A better editor.

She wanted to help me edit my current novel, “Chaos in Cabo.” I set her up with chapters, blue and red pens, and the nine things I look for in each chapter. The senses: Sight, Smell, Sound, Taste, Touch. And the nuances, I think, bring realism to my story: Accessories, Clothing, Eyes, Hair.

Lori valiantly tried to read each chapter and mark these items off the list, but she had a hard time focusing on the story. However, she did ask good questions, so the end result for me was that I was able to explain my editing process to another writer who asked if I would edit her novel.

My sister Lori was a challenge to the end. She died on June 2^nd, my son Derrick’s birthday.

We had a lovely family day on June 1st, her son’s birthday. We played games, ate pizza, and enjoyed an ice cream cake. I spent the night at her house, and we stayed up late talking and laughing.

The next morning, Lori seemed a little tired but otherwise fine. She commented about not being able to get into heaven if you weren’t always a good person. I told her that if she wanted forgiveness, all she had to do was ask God. She got quiet for a few minutes and closed her eyes. Then she said, “I feel bad that I get to see Derrick before you.”

My phone pinged because someone liked my Facebook birthday post for Derrick, and I showed Lori his picture.

She grabbed my hand, and my sister, who never asked me to pray with her before, said, “Can we say a prayer for Derrick’s birthday?”

I nodded and said, “Happy Birthday, Derrick. We hope you’re having a great day in heaven. Aunt Lori and I are laughing about Grandma Rita and Grandma Betty arguing over who gets to bake you a cake. I love and miss you, big guy! Aunt Lori wants to say something.”

Eyes closed, she squeezed my hand and said, “Happy birthday, Derrick. I miss you so much. And I want you to know I’m coming to see you soon.”

Lori drifted off to sleep and seemed fine throughout the morning. Then, just after noon, her breathing became labored, and she appeared to be in a coma. Her husband called the Hospice nurse, who was running late, and she said she would be there as soon as possible.

Keith and I took turns holding Lori’s hand and making her comfortable. Neither of us was in denial that her time was near, but neither of us was ready for her to go.

My challenging little sister went to heaven at 1:50 pm on Monday, June 2, 2025.

Several people said to me after Lori passed away that they were sorry she died on Derrick’s birthday, to which I replied:

“I’m not because I believe my loving son reached his strong hand down from the heavens and said, ‘Come on, Aunt Lori … it’s time.’”

Over the rainbow and from heaven, my little sister challenged me to lean into my faith and share her peaceful passing with others.

Hug your family members, Sisters!