THE GIFT OF PRESENCE

Are you all ready for Christmas? I am, finally, and feel accomplished with all my gifts wrapped and under the tree. We traveled to our home town for the holiday weekend and are enjoying visiting with family and friends. Christmas Eve brings a few gift deliveries and tonight we will make my sister’s famous Lemon Shortbread Christmas cookies.

Looking back on the last few months, I realize though that I’ve been so immersed in holiday prep, I’ve missed out on actually visiting with friends and family.

Each year at the crack of dawn on the day after Thanksgiving, I’m up replacing my fall decorations with Santas and all things Christmas. This year, our oldest son, Norman, and his lovely wife, Kendra, along with our two adorable grandkids, Sloan and Carter, came for Thanksgiving. One of the things the grandkids have always enjoyed was decorating my tree. It was fun watching them sort through decades of ornaments, carefully putting them on my nine foot tree.

We always exchange gifts at Christmas, but it dawned on me the best part of this Thanksgiving was being present to experience them adorning our tree with memories from Norman’s childhood. We played games, watched the Ducks and Beavers play their last civil war game, and visited this and that.

It could be because I’m in my sixties now, or maybe because my mom passed several years ago, and along with her a lot of my holiday traditions. But I now think the best gift of all is being in the presence of family and friends.

I know Santa hasn’t delivered our gifts yet, but I’m already looking toward the New Year and thinking about how I can be more in the moment with my loved ones. The age old adage, “Your Presence is the best Present” should be the mantra we all follow.

So, as challenging as it might be, I’m going to focus on not being on my phone when I’m with others. Listening to my husband, Randy, when he wants to share a funny story or even his latest political opinion. (Insert eyeroll) I want to participate in the retelling of beloved family stories when I’m with my siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, since so many of us have lost the elders in our lives.

My husband, Randy, isn’t much of a holiday prep guy and doesn’t quite understand all the Christmas hype. Of course, I’d love for him to join in my fun. But he enjoys meeting friends for holiday toddies and watching football. The camaraderie of yelling at the refs and cheering on your favorite team is his favorite gift. A gift that’s hard to wrap for sure but something Randy loves and … will remember forever.

Within my circle of friends, we no longer exchange gifts, despite the fact that I always find the best presents. However, there is nothing like laughing over memories of our adventures throughout the year. Sharing fun stories about our families. Plotting and planning where we might vacation together. Or working out the details for our annual girls’ beach week on the Oregon coast. Again, I’m reminded that the best part of these gifts is the presence of all these wonderful people in my life.

Of course, one of my favorite places to be is in my writing zone. I love being down the rabbit hole with my current WIP, “Willow’s Woods”, enjoying the characters of Stoneybrook. And I can’t wait to start my stay in Cabo where “Chaos in Cabo” takes place. I do know though that when I’m writing I am very not present. I tend to ignore everyone and everything, wanting to stay in my zone and focus on my process. The anticipation of what my characters might do next or where the story will take us keeps me enthralled.

But in the coming year, I do plan to take a break and pop out of myself and be in the moment. I can’t wait to enjoy all the presents in my future I’ll be blessed with by my presence.

Merry Christmas, Ladies of Mystery. I hope each of you, and your families, have a lovely Christmas and a blessed New Year!