Cage match! You against your subconscious!

JordainaHey y’all,

What’s the happs where you are? *listens* Cool. Uh-huh, yep. Okay. Let’s talk about me now!

Let me tell you what the happs are ‘round here. The biggest happ is that I have finally finished alllllllllllll of my courses. WOOP!

No, I’ve not just become a fully trained dentist/gardener/pilot/bounty hunter/Tasmanian devil catcher. (FYI, I am a fully trained Sports Massage Therapist and an EFL teacher and some other stuff, but that’s by the by.) The courses I’ve finished were writing-related courses. I say “writing-related”, but that’s a really loose description. I bought them because I thought they could help me with my writing career, but they weren’t necessarily directly related to writing in the sense that they taught you how to write a book.

When I was first starting out I spent thousands and thousands of pounds on these courses that promised to teach me how to do everything! How to write emails, how to get newsletter subscribers, how to master Facebook messaging, how to run AMS ads, how to conquer some other new fad. Every time something like that was advertised to me, I was like “Hell yeah! This will be so useful to me! Quick! Take my money!”. Because when you’re starting something new, it’s overwhelming. And you need a guide.

So, I bought them but never watched the videos or did the work. Ridiculously, right? I was working a day job, trying to steal moments to write so my writing career can take off … and yet, all that knowledge was just sitting on my hard drive, twiddling its thumbs, getting lonely and waiting for me to check in and find a use for it. Why? I was self-sabotaging. I can see this now.

And that’s a big thing to try to overcome because you’re not always aware of it. I wanted to be able to quit my job and write full-time, but a part of me, my subconscious that tries to keep me safe, didn’t think that it was a safe bet. So, she sabotaged me.giphy-10

I know that sounds crazy. And you might be one of these very lucky people who has a carefree subconscious who throws caution to the wind and you go on crazy adventures together. #Luckyyou My subconscious is more like, “Ooooh, do you see that cracked paving stone? Be really careful when you step on it. You might get your shoe caught, trip, completely lose your balance, hit your head on the curb as you fall, roll into traffic and get squished by that oncoming steamroller. Don’t you regret not wearing matching underwear today?”. Which is totally at odds with my conscious mind who happily lets me skip along over all the broken paving stones I want to.

So I’m taking steps to correct it (that makes it sound easy—it’s not easy, it’s an ongoing process!). See, my fully conscious mind was buying these courses because she saw the value in them, but my subconscious mind prevented me from actually completing them because she saw the “danger” in them.

Now, the “danger” was just that I’d get to quit my job and write full-time. And that’s an unknown situation. Hence my subconscious sounding the “Danger! Danger!” alarm.

So, if you have something you’re putting off, courses sitting on your hard drive, a conference, joining a writer’s group, doing something not writing-related at all, then take a moment and think about whether it’s your over-protective subconscious preventing you from doing it or if your reasons for not wanting to do it are genuine.
Now I’ve finished all the courses (there were eighteen!!), I feel awesome. It was hard going cajoling my subconscious the whole time, but I think it’s important to point out that we all self-sabotage. You just have to recognise it.
Until next time …

Jordaina 🙂